I'm listening

 How are you, really?

 No, really! How-Are-You?  Has anyone asked you this question lately and pushed to hear how you really are doing? 

 Ask your partner. Ask your best friend. How are you, really? And listen and ask for more. 

 I had a close friend and fellow therapist call me recently and the first thing she asked was, ”How’s your mental health?” She didn’t say ”Hey. What are you up to?” or “How’s it going?”  She got straight to the point wondering how I was really dealing with life these days.  

 I am nearing month 7 working from home and wherever else “quarantine” time has led me. Even though I provided some online therapy for the past 5 years, being on Zoom for EVERY therapy session takes on a whole new reality. At the beginning of the pandemic, I had a difficult time adjusting to this new way of life. Emotionally, Mondays were unusually hard. Every day and every week felt like the same. Anyone else? Thankfully that has leveled off in recent months. I’m kinda weird in that I absolutely LOVE Sunday evenings and even Monday mornings. Entering a new week, I get energized with the potential of new possibilities. It took me a few months to get that same feeling back. Not having separation from work and home was quite challenging. Ending my day at work used to include an unwinding with music and phoning friends and family before I got home. Now…I’m already home and just a few steps away from my personal space! Like I said, this has gotten much, much better in recent months.  

 So today, I can answer this question with…I’m doing pretty well! My work days are busy. I exercise outdoors most days and enjoying our Fall weather. I enjoy outdoor social distanced outings with friends but I also wish I my social life could be more robust like it used to be. I am now an empty nester and my kids are living on both coasts. I sure wish I could travel to see them. Overall I’m in a really good place but still miss certain parts of pre-COVID life. I continue to adjust to what life is now and taking care of myself emotionally and physically is essential.

 If someone asked you “How are you, really?” how would you answer?

 And “fine” isn’t good enough!